It’s short thing

It’s short thing, gets longer when u hold it, and pass between women breasts, and enters into a hole. What is it?
Car Seat Belt, you dirty mind.

Q: Whats

Q: Whats the difference between a computer and a woman?
A: A computer doesn't laugh at a 3½ inch floppy.

Daughter

Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to climb that tree.
Mother: Stupid !He wanted to see ur panty.
Daughter: I am clever I din't wear any of them.

Which Part...

Which Part...
of a man's body
has no bone
full of veins
loves pumping
and responsible 4
making LOVE!

ANSWER:
HEART!!! But i luv the way u think...

He came 2 me 1 nite

He came 2 me 1 nite
explored my body
licked
sucked
swallowed
& had his fill
wen satisfied he left...
I was hurt...
F***IN MOSQUITO
U Dirty Mind

Skin meets Skin

Skin meets Skin
When is that
the skin meets skin,
hair meets hair
n balls disappear..
dirty mind
its when
u BLINK UR EYES

When a man

When a man talks dirty 2 a women, its sexual harassment,
when a women talks dirty 2 a man, its $$$ per minute!

Girl

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me

A cat tries

A cat tries to get a sausage out of a river, but gets its paws wet, then it see a bigger one but falls in! MORAL OF STORY? The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy!

A Sex expert

Sex expert was once asked whether a rape is possible while running. No, he replied, woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man with his pants down.

1 day as I

1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early.

Lady1

Lady1: How come your husband is always home on time?
Lady2: I have made a simple rule. SEX will be at 9PM, whether you are here or not.

Why Mahendra

Why Mahendra Singh Dhoni has no girlfriend?....




Because, he drinks 2 litre of milk daily.

Do you

Do you like mathematics? If so, add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!

Boy (to girl)

Boy (to girl): What's there in between your legs?
Girl: Hell! And what's there in between your legs?
Boy: A sinner, who wants to go to hell.

Little Johnny

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? TeacheLittle Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!

A boy goes

A boy goes to see a cabare dance.His mom gets angry & asks him:Did u see anything ther that u were not supposed to see?Boy:Yes,I saw DAD

Husband

Husband:You know,our son got his brain from me...............Wife:I think he did,I still got mine with me!!!

Dad

Dad:Why aren't you doing well in history?Pappu:Because the Teacher keeps on asking things that happened before my birth

A girl wearing

A girl wearing very short skirt.A boy asks he Won't yr mom tell anythng abt yr dress?Girl replied: My mom will b very angry..bcoz I'm wearing her dress.

Doctor implants

Doctor implants New Ear 2 a man Man: "U fraud,U gave me a woman's ear" Doc: It makes no difference Man: "It does,Now I hear everything but understand nothing"

Boy

Boy- From the day I m ur friend, I m not able to eat, drink or smoke.Girl- how sweet, so u r madly in LOVE with me..!Boy- SHUT UP..!!, U made my pocket empty.

JUDG

JUDGE:WHY did U Shoot Ur Wife instead of shooting her LOVER?MAN:Ur Honour, it\'s Easier 2 Shoot a WOMAN once,than ----SHOOTING a Man Every Month

indian

indian- i have 4 sister n 3 brothers what abt u? American-i hav no sis or no bro but i hav 4 moms frm 1st dad n 5 dads frm my 1st mom

Those beautiful eyes

Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?
---

We will now upgrade your brain

We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........
Searching.......
Searching.......
Still searching........
Sorry,
No brain found !!!
---

a bee on his pnes

A husband was stung by a bee on his pnes and it became swollen. His wife prayed, "Oh God may you remove off the pain and leave the size as it is.

Come here,take off urs pants and knickers

Come here,take off urs pants and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied, loving urs.....toilet!

Press Down if u think u r MAD.

Press Down if u think u r MAD.
I can't Believe u Did That!
Again?
For God Sake! LORD!!
Why u Still Doing it?
Truth is out now!
MENTAL CASE!!

Who Wants 2 B A

Who Wants 2 B A
£MILLIONAIRE£

Let's play?
Q.Nobody likes you because you are a:


A.Cunt
B.Wanker
C.Rsole
D.Twat



50/50



Phone a friend?


Ring me! I will tell you!

U are a...

U are a...



B. I. T. C. H.



Beautiful



Intelligent



Talented



Cute



Horny



r u smiling now?



*YOU BITCH*

Jad aapji

Jad aapji da janam hoya te tusi nange si te cheekan maar rahe si,
te hun jad tusi nange hunde ho te koi hor cheekan marda hai.
Sab time-time di gal hai!

A lady

A lady from 2nd floor asking a bananawala: Kaise diye?
Bananawala: Memsaab Aath mein Bara.
Lady: Saat mein Tera deta hai to oopar aaja.

Daughter

Daughter: Mom, kya yeh sach hai ki ladke jahan apna l*nd dalte hain, bachha wahin se nikalta hai?
Mom: Haan.
Daughter: Oh my god! To kya mera bachha mere muh se niklega?

Husband

Husband: kash hamare ladki ki jagah ladka ho jata?
Wife: Chhodo ji, agar main aapke bharose rehti, to ladki bhi nahi hoti.

Ek bus mein

Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge..
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao.

INDIA KI REET

INDIA KI REET... Ladki agar apni marzi se de de to PYAAR... Agar Dost Dilwaye to UPHAR... Ghar wale dilwaye to SANSKAR... aur agar apne aap lele to... BaLaTkAar...

School mein

School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha: Madam ji thodi aap koshish karo, thodi hum karte hain, bachcha to nikal hi jayega...!

Hair oil ki

Hair oil ki ad mein hair dikhate hain, Skin cream ki ad mein Skin, Toothpaste me Teeth, Footwears me Feet, par WHISPER ki ad mein kuch nahi dikhate????
Jaago Grahak Jaago!

Girl

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me

When a man

When a man talks dirty 2 a women, its sexual harassment,
when a women talks dirty 2 a man, its $$$ per minute!

Skin meets Skin

Skin meets Skin
When is that
the skin meets skin,
hair meets hair
n balls disappear..
dirty mind
its when
u BLINK UR EYES

He came 2 me 1 nite

He came 2 me 1 nite
explored my body
licked
sucked
swallowed
& had his fill
wen satisfied he left...
I was hurt...
F***IN MOSQUITO
U Dirty Mind

A Short thing

A Short thing
It gets Longer
when U hold it
N pass between
women Breasts
N enters into
A hole
What is it?
1 min 2 think!
Car Seat Belt
U dirty mind.

Which Part...

Which Part...
of a man's body
has no bone
full of veins
loves pumping
and responsible 4
making LOVE!

ANSWER:
HEART!!! But i luv the way u think...

Mental

Mental anxiety,
Mental breakdowns,
Menstrual cramps,
Menopause...
Did you ever notice how all women problems begin with MEN!

Daughter

Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to climb that tree.
Mother: Stupid !He wanted to see ur panty.
Daughter: I am clever I din't wear any of them.

Met a girl

Met a girl the other day who has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. It's amazing, if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea!

Q: Whats

Q: Whats the difference between a computer and a woman?
A: A computer doesn't laugh at a 3½ inch floppy.

Make luv

Make luv to ur galfriend on Valentine day. She'll give u gud news on Mothers` day n u'll hv a child on children`s day. Don't try this on everybody. U'll hv bad news on Dec 1 (AIDS day)

It’s short thing

It’s short thing, gets longer when u hold it, and pass between women breasts, and enters into a hole. What is it?
Car Seat Belt, you dirty mind.

A dentist

A dentist was caught raping a girl. Next day headline, "Dentist caught filling wrong cavity".

An journalist

An journalist to mallika sherawat: What is the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up?
Mallika: I go back to my home!

Lady1

Lady1: How come your husband is always home on time?
Lady2: I have made a simple rule. SEX will be at 9PM, whether you are here or not.

Girl & Boy were having sex.

Girl & Boy were having sex.
Girl: Darling, I want you to kiss my lips!
Boy: Sure, which 1 would you prefer first, lower lip or upper lip?
Girl: Middle lips, the ones right in the middle of my legs.

Boy (to girl)

Boy (to girl): What's there in between your legs?
Girl: Hell! And what's there in between your legs?
Boy: A sinner, who wants to go to hell.

Why Mahendra

Why Mahendra Singh Dhoni has no girlfriend?....




Because, he drinks 2 litre of milk daily.

Why Mahendra

Why Mahendra Singh Dhoni has no girlfriend?....




Because, he drinks 2 litre of milk daily.

When an apple is green

When an apple is green, its ready to pluck. When a girl in eighteen, she is ready to...







VOTE. You dirty mind, Elections are near, but I know what you were thinking.

In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another

In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another
"I slept wid ur mom last nite"
D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy's response.

He laughs & says, "Lets go home dad, U r drunk"

Why do 90%

Why do 90%
of the girls have a bigger left breast ?

) (
( .)( . )
) (


because....



90% of the
boys are
right handed.

Do you

Do you like mathematics? If so, add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!

Sounds women make during sex.

Sounds women make during sex.
1) Asthmatic - ah.ahh.ah..ah.
2) Obedient - yes.yes..yes.
3) Unsatisfied - more. more...more.
4) Religious - oh god. oh god.

1 day as I

1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early.

One day there

One day there was this naked man and elephant, the elephant looks at the naked man for a few seconds, ask the naked man, "HOW CAN YOU BREATH THROUGH THAT LITTLE THING?"

A baby dog

A baby dog asks mama dog: How papa looks like. Mama dog said: "Your dad came from behind, I do not have the chance to see its face carefully!"

A man had

A man had "I LOVE YOU" tattooed on his dick. He went home and proudly showed his wife. "There you go again, trying to put words into my mouth", she said.

A Sex expert

Sex expert was once asked whether a rape is possible while running. No, he replied, woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man with his pants down.

A cat and a rooster

A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!

A cat tries

A cat tries to get a sausage out of a river, but gets its paws wet, then it see a bigger one but falls in! MORAL OF STORY? The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy!

A man was looking

A man was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered - waiting for autumn.

love

( ')
/ / in love !
/ /
( ) )

, ( ') engaged
/ , '
( ) )

married
, - - .
( ) )'(, )

Press down.

Press down.




down more


deeper



more
YES



ahh



ohh




yes
Almost there!


ooh baby


faster


harder
FEEL GOOD?

mmmm

THAT'S TEXTUAL INTERCOURSE

A notice in a factory for girl workers.

A notice in a factory for girl workers.
"If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work.. If it is short, protect yourself from men at work"

Teacher

Teacher: why are you late?
Student: My dad told me to take our cow to bull.
Teacher(Angrily): Can't your dad to it?
Student: No, only BULL can do it.